Living in Hell.

So Boone N.C. is well Hell. Like when you watch Dawn of the Dead and the people realize there is like no fucking hope. I long to leave this place, and go back to travelling and living abroad. Sometimes I wonder what is it all about, I mean people are here for whatever reason, and I always refer to God. But am I right? I watched part of a movie, it was about Buddishm, makes me wonder you know. They were pointing out that thoughts affect the molecular structure of water....and I am not sure if it was true or not, but it really made me think. So I dream and wonder. My latest dream was about my ex-fiancee. She was a nurse...wierd. What does it all mean?